One of the most interesting courses I did in College was titled “Courtship and Marriage.” The main reason I did that course was cause it would be an easy “A”-or so I thought, but some of the things I learnt in that course do replay themselves out in my relationship with H and others.
How people communicate is one of them. I thank God that I am able to communicate with my partner pretty well and I guess one of the reasons is because we have known each other for a really long time and have developed our own pattern of communicating over time. It is not without its challenges of course but I have no reason to complain.
It feels really bad to observe two people who are committing to each other for life have serious communication lapses that are obvious to those around them. When we were planning our wedding, one of my pals told me that H and I will have really bad fights and might even break up due to the stresses involved in wedding planning. Well, that did not happen. We were able to resolve any issues arising between ourselves. For us, the day was a culmination of what we both wanted and we were able to express the same to our planning team and vendors as a couple.
It is so important to have a united front at this time as it makes it easier for the team to understand what it is you want. Resolve whatever issues you have as a couple before the meeting to avoid confrontations between each other during the meeting. It looks so bad when an engaged couple disagree openly during their committee meetings. How do you as the couple expect people to support you? It raises even more questions such as to how you will communicate within your marriage.
Do not be fuzzy and unclear on what your expectations are both to yourselves, and to your planning team, then be unhappy when things do not go your way. It is your wedding, know what you want and let everyone know in a clear and concise way.
Do not be unrealistic especially with the budget. If you are relying on others to chip in, have something set aside first cause friends can and will disappoint you, and anyway it is YOUR wedding.
Do not fight or disagree openly in the meeting, it makes everyone else uncomfortable as you sort out your issues.
Be open to suggestions from your team, listening to and agreeing with what is being suggested are two different things. You are not under pressure to agree with everyone of your friends. Be wise.
Be clear with your partner on the different roles to be played by friends and family members and communicate the same to those concerned together as a couple.
Wedding planning is not a smooth and perfect process, you will not agree on every teeny weeny detail, but this should not be played out in the open. Let us be humble and wise good people 🙂
P.S: I am not the best placed to give advice on this and this is not exhaustive. I have the limited experience of planning one wedding- mine. Visit here for ideas and tips from other brides and brides to be. Other suggestions are welcome.