10 Things NOT to Say to a New Mom

Wish I came across this earlier, but better late than never.

10 Things NOT to Say to a New Mom.

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Loving Motherhood

I love being a Mother. So many new things to learn and enjoy every single day. I get to discover more of myself and H as parents and our little Angel. When I was expectant, I was pretty open minded and wanted nothing more than to hold the baby in my arms. We did not check out the gender; all we wanted was a healthy baby. And a healthy baby it was. Njeri is now seven months old and I cannot believe how fast time has flown. She is sitting up well and weaned now and a jovial, friendly baby. The girl is talkative too and quite active, tummy crawling now.

I could have had a lousy day at work but the minute I walk through the door and see her, all my depressing thoughts vanish and I am happy again. Her smile is the most beautiful in the world and guaranteed to make my heart skip a beat. Her bond with her father is the most amazing thing in the world. She literally leaps when she hears or sees him home. She screams in delight waving her hands in the air yelling “tada tada” which I think is her equivalent of saying hello, and stretches out for him to take her. I love watching them together. I never knew we humans had such a capacity to love. They are my two favorite people in the world and everyday my heart is at bursting point full of the love I feel for them. Njeri adores her daddy and woe unto him if he is not paying attention to her. H cannot even carry on a phone conversation when holding her at the same time. She will bat or kick at the phone or complain in baby talk for his attention. When he rocks her she goes to sleep in a flash. Till morning. In the evening it is like she senses when he is almost home. She sits up alert and stares at the door and sure enough H will appear a few minutes later. It is sweet and spooky at the same time ha ha. When I told my Mum about it, she told me I was the same way with my Father at that age. Hmmmmm.

She already has a favorite toy, a little bear H brought from NY. (Yep it had to be a gift from him) and loves it when you blow bubbles in the air, and her favorite game is “peek a boo”. Njeri always wakes up with a smile on her face, and loves Abscondita too to bits. They have a strong bond too and saying good bye at the end of the day is not easy for the both of them. One of these days I am pretty sure she will get separation anxiety, not from me, but Abscondita L I thank God for her as she takes good care of my baby and engages her ; they play together, communicate to each other (one in normal speech, the other in baby talk) and understand each other perfectly. The first thing Abscondita asks me in the morning is if Njeri has slept well, and what time she went to bed and whether I fed her and if she finished her food. All these before even asking me how I am. Ha ha Abscondita rocks! I love being a mother and it is an amazing gift from God that I am enjoying immensely this far. I know it can only get better from here. Praise be to God!

Monday Blues

 I do not like Mondays. At all. Such a dampener after a great weekend, and is it me or is it too cold today? I wish I could take all Mondays off. Anyway hope I’ll feel better as the day ends and begin a countdown to the weekend 🙂

Speaking of weekends, mine was short but nice. H and I went to visit my Sister and her family on Saturday evening and had a blast. To be honest I did not want to go home but we had to 😦

Thanks A and J for welcoming us, we had a lot of fun and need to do it again SOONEST! 

We had company yesterday afternoon which was fun too watching our wedding video again and enjoying some funny moments especially during the reception. One was when one of our uncles decided to entertain the guests with some dance moves during the entertainment. He was matching / dancing round the grounds and there is this instance when he lunged towards the cake. My heart did skip a beat when he did that at the wedding but its funny now. Oh and btw, he was sober.

Second was my Aunty Em, my mother’s younger sister who is one funny lady who regaled the guests with tales (yep, I am calling them tales) of H’s prowess at killing dangerous snakes and fixing stalled cars in the highway, which has proven to her that he is a worthy mate for her dearest niece. Then she went ahead to tell the guests how much the family is happy for us which was a hint for the seated family members to come present their gifts and when they did not get up, she turned towards them and started calling them out in Kikuyu. When they came, she went ahead to say “ na haha twina ido tumuguriire, thani, iciko, thafuria na korogosho icio igii” ( and here we have plates, spoons, saucepans and other junk/ paraphernalia) much funnier in mother tongue.

Another was this old mzee who is a family friend caught capturing moments of the day on his teeny, weeny phone. He is a former journalist by the way but I have seen the phone and y’all cannot see the photos taken clearly but hey, he made the effort.

 The snake tale is another post all together. Coming soon.

Have a great week good people!

 

 

On married life so far…

It is less than a year since our wedding and I must admit that every day is a great learning experience. H and I were friends for over ten years before and thought we knew each other pretty well but marriage has thrown that assumption out the window. We have had to get used to each other on a really personal level, which is not easy for people who had lived solo prior to living together. What has been a great lesson for me is not to make any assumptions about anything. Especially who is to do what. We are two people who share similar values and background but have been brought up differently. I do not have any brothers neither does he. I am from a small family of three girls, he is the only brother to four sisters. But we are moving along well and I love it. And I know the results of our different reactions in various situations are what will create our own traditions in our young family.

When I read this earlier today some of the points really stuck home especially 2, 6 and 10.

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We went visiting some good friends a couple who have been together for about seventeen years when this played out… 

Him: P. please lock the door so the dog does not get into the house.

Her: OK 

About ten minutes later… 

Him: Honey, did you lock the door?

Her: Yes I did 

A few minutes later there is a cold draft coming in 

Him: Did you lock the door when I asked you too?

Her : I think so, I am not sure did you ask me to?

Him: I did a while ago and I am sure these guys heard me too

Her: Oh, ok

Him: Can you lock the door now?

Her: Ok, I will, let me just finish what I am doing

Him: Just do it now, you will forget and who knows who or what can come in the house when you are all alone with the door unlocked.

Her: Ok fine I’ll close it but you do not have to get too dramatic about it. 

There was a pause then the guy got up to lock the door himself. 

I was trying so hard not to laugh because good people, H and I do have the same conversation just that the roles are reversed and for me it is the windows and doors and because of security and the neighbours’ cats, no dogs.

Small World

We were with a friend on Sunday, speaking of young girls who seek relationships with older moneyed men (is it not sad?)

So our pal starts telling us of a young lady, 24 years old, who had  been kept by some older dude in Karen. She drove a nice Range Rover Sport, shopped at the best places, but had no freedom.Time with friends and folks was limited but all other needs were being met. All the while, she was very aware that this guy had a wife and kids and she could not be bothered that she was wrecking someone’s family. They broke up after she cheated on him, but he still supports her financially.

As we continued chatting and she described the guy, Hubby and I realised we KNOW this man. He is a family friend’s husband! I was so disgusted. His wife is aware of the guy’s philandering ways, and had actually been threatened by the said girl,but she does not want to leave. (Methinks it’s out of fear of an uncertain financial future).

As much as we would not like to believe the things discussed by Maina and King’ang’i and believe “Busted” is staged, most of the stuff they discuss does happen in people’s lives, and they (the victims)are the only ones who know and choose whether to act or not. It is easy for me to think and believe that it is easy to leave, but such circumstances are not that clear-cut.

Question: What would you do?